In Nury Martinez’s first interview since a leaked audio prompted her resignation from City Hall, the former Los Angeles City Council president said her comments were not intended to be racist and that the scandal has ‘completely devastated’ her and her family has left behind.

During the interview with LAist, Martinez said that on the day the audio became public, she had already accepted that the scandal was so big that she would have to resign and that there was nothing she could say or do to undo the damage.

“I knew there would be consequences, that I had to pay for this,” Martinez said.

American journalist Antonia Cereijido asked her, as part of an extensive podcast about Martinez’s life, about her use of the phrase

parece changuito,

meaning like a monkey.” In the leaked audio, Martinez is heard telling a story about being with other mothers and using the term to describe Councilman Mike Bonin’s young black son.

“The way I grew up with that word,

‘parece changuito.’

It has nothing to do with skin color. It has more to do with behavior. “You’re kind of playing around,” Martinez said, according to a transcript LAist provided to The Times.

“You’re messing around.” Another word we use in Spanish:

it’s travieso

[mischievous], you can’t sit still. It’s a conversation I shouldn’t have repeated. And I think this is an example of a bunch of moms sitting around, you know, being critical of little boys’ behavior. That was my mistake. It was insensitive. It was intended. “It was never my intention to hurt Jacob, and I’m going to have to live with that for the rest of my life, you know,” Martinez said.

“I think in Spanish, then I speak in English,” Martinez said. “And so my vocabulary comes from me learning English. And I think for me those words are not meant to hurt anyone, or to sound racist. I think they’re just words that I grew up with. “

Martinez resigned from the City Council a year ago, amid a furor over her comments during a private meeting with then-Los Angeles County Federation of Labor Chairman Ron Herrera and City Council members Kevin De Len and Gil Cedillo. Martinez played a central role in the conversation, making offensive comments about Black people, Oaxacans and others.

In the interview with LAist, Martinez expressed his regret

“brown feos,

‘ or ‘so ugly’ when it comes to Oaxacan people living in Koreatown.

“Oh my god. That’s another thing I’ll never forgive myself for,” Martinez said. “That was just a horrible, insensitive comment. I certainly have nothing against the Oaxacan community. I feel terrible for offending the community.”

She also elaborated on what she said about Dist. Atty. George Gascn: “F that guy. I’m telling you now: he’s with the Blacks.”

“You know, I came in there really angry and frustrated and it was a mean and insensitive thing to say and I didn’t mean anything by it,” Martinez said.

Martinez added that she

had

“absolutely no relationship” with Gascn at the time and suggested the comment reflected her own anger.

Protesters targeted her home over the city’s approach to homelessness and its vaccine mandate. Her relationship with Bonin, a former ally, was tense.

“During the two years that I was council president, I just got more frustrated, angrier and more pissed off about everything. And that’s what you saw. That’s it,” Martinez said.

Martinez also criticized the media.

“I’ve always felt that as a Latina I’ve never really been properly shaken by the media. The coverage of these tapes in itself

,

says it all. I think there was a deliberate concerted effort to take snippets of the conversation and release them to the general public,” she said.

According to LAist, she is not working today and is trying to manage her household’s finances. She said her husband isn’t working either. “What this has done to me and my family has completely devastated us,” she said.

On Friday, De Len and Cedillo

archived

separate lawsuits in Los Angeles County Superior Court claiming the recording did permanently damage for their reputation and career. Both lawsuits allege invasion of privacy, negligence and seeking damages.

Cedillo’s lawsuit is against the Federation of Labor and two former labor staffers. Only the employees are named in the Lens lawsuit.

The leaked audio scandal marked a stunning downfall for Martinez, the daughter of immigrants from the Mexican state of Zacatecas who joined the council in 2013 after a come-from-behind victory.

In the interview published on Monday, she describes lying in bed for days. She credits her mother and her church for her help.

Martinez said she had several conversations with then-mayoral candidate Bass in the first 24 hours after news of the secret recording broke.

she said

.

Bass, who was elected mayor weeks later, suspected the scandal would “blow over in about a day or two,” Martinez said.